Assalamualaikum,
Aku ingin begini
aku ingin begitu
ingin ini itu ..banyak sekalii
Teman - teman semua dapat di kabulkan
dapat dikabulkan dengan doa ke Allah
Aku ingin terbang bebas diangkasa
Woi itu bunuh diri
La la la aku sayang sekali sama Allah
Di musim panas merupakan hari bermain gembira
sang gajah terkena flu pilek tiada henti-hebtinya
sang beruang tidur dan tak ada yang berani ganggu dia
oh sibuknya aku sibuk sekaliii...
we will sing a song and feel free , i don't care about all ....................
Selasa, 22 April 2014
Ternyata Spontan itu JUJUR Tapi NAFSU
Assalamualaikum,
Kali ini saya ambil hikmah kejadian kemaren .Jadi gini ceritanya .
Beberapa kali pas harus ditanya mana yang lebih kamu sukai :
"Bertemu langsung nikah ATAU mau komitmen dulu ,berjuang tapi nikahnya nunggu bertahun-tahun ?"
#Petir menyambar (rada lebay sih intinya jantung langsung bunyi DEG* kejedok gitu )
Tentu dari awal paham saya tentang JODOH rasanya SOK YAKIN bangets minta dipertemukan LANGSUNG dan NIKAH ,saya akan meng-IGNORE semua prasangka atau kemungkinan buruk dari keputusan itu ,Karena saya masih PERCAYA Allah tidak akan pernah Salah mempertemukan .DAn saya masih inget dengan yakinnya saya berkata "Saya tidak peduli dia baik atau buruk atau apapun itu yang pasti sebelum HARI Pernikahan itu tiba saya ikhtiyar doa yang terbaik ,adapun sampai pada saatnya saya menikah dengan orang yang buruk perangainya atau belum dipahamkan akan ilmu itu adalah bagian TAKDIR Allah .Karena saya yakin Allah Maha Adil ,Maha Tahu ..jikalau Allah memang memasangkan saya dengannya berarti Allah sisipkan HIKMAH besar dibalik itu semua Wallahualam ".
Saya masih yakin kalau bukan jodoh itu pas detik -detik terakhir Allah pasti menunjukkan Kuasanya .Dan saya dulu hanya bisa berkata sekarang saya harus mempersiapkan itu semua ..belajar ridho ,belajar ilmu dan belajar TAWAKAL .
Bukan berarti kalau jodoh kita nanti ga se sholeh impian kita ,dia itu BURUK .Bisa jadi Allah datangkan dia untuk menyempurnakan perangai buruk kita misalnya kurang sabarnya kita .kurang tawakalnya kita .
Bisa jadi Jodoh kita itu sarana senjata Allah mengingatkan kita ,menyadarkan kita dan memperbaiki qolbu kita .
Tapi Pas diminta ga pakai banyak mikir dan saya bertekat spontan dengan nuruti maunya saya senatural ,manusiawi , alias ga mikir panjang ,ga pake dicerna ,ga ambil pahamnya ,ga di convert pake ilmu pula ,dengan sedikit keberanian mengutarakan saya memilih option 2 . Itu berarti saya IGNORE semua keyakinan dan paham saya yang drdulu tertanam kuat .
Yah ,saya memang salah ..saya mengingkari kebenaran dan janji Allah ,saya sedikit menyekutukannya dengan berpikiran bahwa proses yang manusia rancang itu sedikit lebih baik .
Kenapa saya memilih "berkomimen dulu ,berjuang bersama dulu meski itu akan buang waktu bertahun-tahuan ?"
Tentu pikiranku punya argumen pembelaan .
Meskipun hati bersi keras menunjukkan dan mengutuk dengan ilmu yang dipegang .
Tahu kah perumpamaan yang paling dekat dengan keadaan ini ?
Jadi cukup jelas bahwa ketika saya BICARA tanpa pencernaan sempurna itu yang keluar hanya NAFSU keinginan tanpa mempertimbangkan Kebenaran HAKIKI .
Saya meninggalkan pokok AKIDAH .Saya ini masih manusia yang butuh proses ,saya belum kuat membawa amanah ilmu .
Integritas saya kepada Allah ,Rasulullah dan Al-qur'an pun masih perlu dipertanyakan .Masih banyak yang perlu diperbaiki ,masih banyak :(
Kali ini saya ambil hikmah kejadian kemaren .Jadi gini ceritanya .
Beberapa kali pas harus ditanya mana yang lebih kamu sukai :
"Bertemu langsung nikah ATAU mau komitmen dulu ,berjuang tapi nikahnya nunggu bertahun-tahun ?"
#Petir menyambar (rada lebay sih intinya jantung langsung bunyi DEG* kejedok gitu )
Tentu dari awal paham saya tentang JODOH rasanya SOK YAKIN bangets minta dipertemukan LANGSUNG dan NIKAH ,saya akan meng-IGNORE semua prasangka atau kemungkinan buruk dari keputusan itu ,Karena saya masih PERCAYA Allah tidak akan pernah Salah mempertemukan .DAn saya masih inget dengan yakinnya saya berkata "Saya tidak peduli dia baik atau buruk atau apapun itu yang pasti sebelum HARI Pernikahan itu tiba saya ikhtiyar doa yang terbaik ,adapun sampai pada saatnya saya menikah dengan orang yang buruk perangainya atau belum dipahamkan akan ilmu itu adalah bagian TAKDIR Allah .Karena saya yakin Allah Maha Adil ,Maha Tahu ..jikalau Allah memang memasangkan saya dengannya berarti Allah sisipkan HIKMAH besar dibalik itu semua Wallahualam ".
Saya masih yakin kalau bukan jodoh itu pas detik -detik terakhir Allah pasti menunjukkan Kuasanya .Dan saya dulu hanya bisa berkata sekarang saya harus mempersiapkan itu semua ..belajar ridho ,belajar ilmu dan belajar TAWAKAL .
Bukan berarti kalau jodoh kita nanti ga se sholeh impian kita ,dia itu BURUK .Bisa jadi Allah datangkan dia untuk menyempurnakan perangai buruk kita misalnya kurang sabarnya kita .kurang tawakalnya kita .
Bisa jadi Jodoh kita itu sarana senjata Allah mengingatkan kita ,menyadarkan kita dan memperbaiki qolbu kita .
Tapi Pas diminta ga pakai banyak mikir dan saya bertekat spontan dengan nuruti maunya saya senatural ,manusiawi , alias ga mikir panjang ,ga pake dicerna ,ga ambil pahamnya ,ga di convert pake ilmu pula ,dengan sedikit keberanian mengutarakan saya memilih option 2 . Itu berarti saya IGNORE semua keyakinan dan paham saya yang drdulu tertanam kuat .
Yah ,saya memang salah ..saya mengingkari kebenaran dan janji Allah ,saya sedikit menyekutukannya dengan berpikiran bahwa proses yang manusia rancang itu sedikit lebih baik .
Kenapa saya memilih "berkomimen dulu ,berjuang bersama dulu meski itu akan buang waktu bertahun-tahuan ?"
Tentu pikiranku punya argumen pembelaan .
Meskipun hati bersi keras menunjukkan dan mengutuk dengan ilmu yang dipegang .
Tahu kah perumpamaan yang paling dekat dengan keadaan ini ?
KAMU itu dikasih senjata (baca: pemahaman dan ilmu ) tapi ACTION nya kamu ga mau gunain ? ya Useless toh? kamu dikasih PEDANG ,kamu bisa mempengaruhi dan menyakinkan oranglain bahwa PEDANG itu bisa jadi senjata mereka .TAPI kamu lupa kamu gagal menyakinkan dirimu sendiri untuk mampu membawa PEDANG itu sebagai senjatamu . Dan saya bisa bilang BAHWA diri SAYA GAGAL . -.- maaf ya Rabb
Jadi cukup jelas bahwa ketika saya BICARA tanpa pencernaan sempurna itu yang keluar hanya NAFSU keinginan tanpa mempertimbangkan Kebenaran HAKIKI .
Saya meninggalkan pokok AKIDAH .Saya ini masih manusia yang butuh proses ,saya belum kuat membawa amanah ilmu .
Integritas saya kepada Allah ,Rasulullah dan Al-qur'an pun masih perlu dipertanyakan .Masih banyak yang perlu diperbaiki ,masih banyak :(
(Allohumma inni as-aluka nafsaa bika muthma-innah, tu'minu biliqoo-ik, watardlo bi qodloo-ik, wataqna'u bi'athoo-ik)Artinya:Ya Allah, aku memohon kepada-Mu jiwa yang merasa tenang kepadaMu, yang yakin akan bertemu denganMu, yang ridha dengan ketetapanMu, dan yang merasa cukup dengan pemberianMu.
Chalenge Part# Be honestly myself
Senin, 21 April 2014
Dishonesty and lies
Assalamualaikum,
For you ....
About the feelings I had, have and will always have for you and towards our relationship. Some things you may already know and some you might be surprised that I know. Life is a mistery, and surprises good or bad will always come in our path. With this thought, I write this super long letter to you. The thought of love. True love. Although, honestly, I start to loose faith in true love, I am still willing to hope. After all, what is life without a hope?
If you look back, it is kind of funny the way I found out about your living together story
, i must cannot ignore your said on the past time . I don't know why i'm always remember that .
Maybe i hate what your said . U remember when you easy speak "I will be come to your parents if you wants married with me ". Its simple u think ?
No ....!! this is about responsibility to ALLAH ,u know that ?
But after the day i had lost to belived you . You are fail become candidate idealism husband of my side (sorry this ini my fell ).
But ,Allah give me another way . One of day we meet with condition saling need . Also we can find .
As for me, my life to you is like an open book. I would try my best to tell you everything about my past. Even sometime I saw you are not interested in listening to it, I did it anyway. I feel that you have all the right to know who I really am. Because as human, we sometimes didn’t know who our own self is! Most of the times we learn to get to know our self better by listening to what others say about us. By learning from reactions we got from our actions. Just like a child learning to recognize her parents.
I want you to know me and maybe give me some advise. Make me understand myself better. And more important, I would really like you to understand my value about life. What made me happy and what can hurt me. What I like and dislike. All of those aspects we need in spending live with our significant others. All that needed to make our relationship a better one than the previous one (that we left behind)
Maybe I love you soo much I even think about those girls you once love (I hope) and the more I know you, the more I feel for them. It may sounds weird but it is what it is. I always have a big compassion towards others. Especially those who experience the same things as I am. I can really feel for them and strange enough, slowly it grows to the directions I could never imagine. The more I understand what you did to them and how they feel, the more I dislike you. And soon you had became a stranger to me. I don’t know who you are anymore. And I really think you didn’t try to show who you really are to me to start with.
No pain no gain.You know, there is a song saying : when one door closes another one will be open. That is how I feel when we first met. I just closed my door, my past, and totally ready to open a new door. And you told me the same thing, I believe you then. But in time, I find out bites and pieces of you and starting to put the puzzles together. Don’t get me wrong. I am not spying on you. Its just instinct. On top of that, its probably how the universe works. What goes around comes around. Everything seems to just fell on my lap and reach me instead of me looking for them.
To err is human. But to keep making same mistakes again and again its stupidity. I don’t know about you, because you seems to keep repeating your life pattern again and again.
Closed the bad full of mistakes chapters and move on with the new ones. After all you knew you can get anybody and everybody would be interested in you. You knew for the fact that there are lots of others who are stupid enough to be dragged into your game. There will be no lack of supplies to be found as your next victim. And you can just keep doing what you like to do, with no responsibility or sense of guilt.
To me, it’s totally opposite.Regardless my fault or my partner’s fault, it is still my fault. Because I let it happened. I can blame my partner all my life, run away hoping I will find a new partner that will fit me and my needs. I can hide behind my self defense that it was all not my fault but I just happened to meet someone that is not for me. But for how long? And what will I get trough it all? For me, happiness is within myself. I should know myself first before I can understand others and decide weather we are fit for each other or not. I never run away from my problems. I stay and stick with it until I realized the core problem and possibility of fixing it. I never run away, I leave proudly and peacefully. With more understanding of who I am and what I’m looking for. With clearer step as to where I move on.
I thought, no matter how bad and wild and selfish your past is, deep down inside you are still a decent human being. I thought your decision to marry me is your turning point. Change of direction in life. I thought you found your purpose in life in me. But again, I was wrong.
Unfortunately, I was wrong. You are not the one,That is why all problems start. Dishonest and lies.
For you ....
About the feelings I had, have and will always have for you and towards our relationship. Some things you may already know and some you might be surprised that I know. Life is a mistery, and surprises good or bad will always come in our path. With this thought, I write this super long letter to you. The thought of love. True love. Although, honestly, I start to loose faith in true love, I am still willing to hope. After all, what is life without a hope?
If you look back, it is kind of funny the way I found out about your living together story
, i must cannot ignore your said on the past time . I don't know why i'm always remember that .
Maybe i hate what your said . U remember when you easy speak "I will be come to your parents if you wants married with me ". Its simple u think ?
No ....!! this is about responsibility to ALLAH ,u know that ?
But after the day i had lost to belived you . You are fail become candidate idealism husband of my side (sorry this ini my fell ).
But ,Allah give me another way . One of day we meet with condition saling need . Also we can find .
As for me, my life to you is like an open book. I would try my best to tell you everything about my past. Even sometime I saw you are not interested in listening to it, I did it anyway. I feel that you have all the right to know who I really am. Because as human, we sometimes didn’t know who our own self is! Most of the times we learn to get to know our self better by listening to what others say about us. By learning from reactions we got from our actions. Just like a child learning to recognize her parents.
I want you to know me and maybe give me some advise. Make me understand myself better. And more important, I would really like you to understand my value about life. What made me happy and what can hurt me. What I like and dislike. All of those aspects we need in spending live with our significant others. All that needed to make our relationship a better one than the previous one (that we left behind)
Maybe I love you soo much I even think about those girls you once love (I hope) and the more I know you, the more I feel for them. It may sounds weird but it is what it is. I always have a big compassion towards others. Especially those who experience the same things as I am. I can really feel for them and strange enough, slowly it grows to the directions I could never imagine. The more I understand what you did to them and how they feel, the more I dislike you. And soon you had became a stranger to me. I don’t know who you are anymore. And I really think you didn’t try to show who you really are to me to start with.
No pain no gain.You know, there is a song saying : when one door closes another one will be open. That is how I feel when we first met. I just closed my door, my past, and totally ready to open a new door. And you told me the same thing, I believe you then. But in time, I find out bites and pieces of you and starting to put the puzzles together. Don’t get me wrong. I am not spying on you. Its just instinct. On top of that, its probably how the universe works. What goes around comes around. Everything seems to just fell on my lap and reach me instead of me looking for them.
To err is human. But to keep making same mistakes again and again its stupidity. I don’t know about you, because you seems to keep repeating your life pattern again and again.
Closed the bad full of mistakes chapters and move on with the new ones. After all you knew you can get anybody and everybody would be interested in you. You knew for the fact that there are lots of others who are stupid enough to be dragged into your game. There will be no lack of supplies to be found as your next victim. And you can just keep doing what you like to do, with no responsibility or sense of guilt.
To me, it’s totally opposite.Regardless my fault or my partner’s fault, it is still my fault. Because I let it happened. I can blame my partner all my life, run away hoping I will find a new partner that will fit me and my needs. I can hide behind my self defense that it was all not my fault but I just happened to meet someone that is not for me. But for how long? And what will I get trough it all? For me, happiness is within myself. I should know myself first before I can understand others and decide weather we are fit for each other or not. I never run away from my problems. I stay and stick with it until I realized the core problem and possibility of fixing it. I never run away, I leave proudly and peacefully. With more understanding of who I am and what I’m looking for. With clearer step as to where I move on.
I thought, no matter how bad and wild and selfish your past is, deep down inside you are still a decent human being. I thought your decision to marry me is your turning point. Change of direction in life. I thought you found your purpose in life in me. But again, I was wrong.
Unfortunately, I was wrong. You are not the one,That is why all problems start. Dishonest and lies.
Minggu, 20 April 2014
Who loved
Assalamualaikum,
orang yang mencintai itu mencari jalan keluar | bukan meninggalkan dan lepas tangan
orang yang mencintai itu menuntun pada jalan kebenaran | bukan menyalahkan lalu membiarkan agar yang dicintai berbuat salah lagi
orang yang mencintai itu menumbuhkan harapan pada orang yang dicintai | bukan malah membuat putus asa dan tertekan
orang yang mencintai takkan ingin menyakiti | walau dengan alasan "supaya dia tau rasanya sakit hati" | cinta bukan masalah balas dendam
perasaan puas saat menghukumnya atas kesalahannya | tanyalah pada dirimu sendiri, itukah katamu sayang? itukah cinta??
Kali ini kata-katanya meluncur ke relung jiwa disaat yang tepat ,saat gamang tidak bisa melihat ketulusan cinta atau hanya nafsu semata .
Apa kebaikan dan pengorbanan yang besar sudah cukup dibilang cinta ?
Bukankah hanya obsesi mendapatkan ?
Maaf kali ini saya hampir tidak bisa mengenali siapa yang bersungguh-sungguh sekalipun :-|
